Ends and Beginnings

Two years ago, we began our Saturday night worship service. Last night was the end.

It's hard to believe that it's been two years. It has gone fast, but on the other hand two years ago seems like a long time ago. I remember when we first started meeting and talking about a Saturday night service. We had these great ideas...take out the side sections of chairs every week; put up a black curtain for a backdrop; build a jut-out for the stage. We did the chairs for about three weeks and then realized it would work just as well to just block those sections off instead. The black curtain we did do, and it turned out great. I laughed when I found out they started using it on Sunday mornings, too...and now the wall is painted black on stage. The stage jut-out never happened. We prayed a lot about what the service would be spiritually, and had some really good words from the Lord about it. Have we specifically seen all those happen? No, not that I know of. But I do know that we have changed and that years from now, we'll still be seeing fruit from these past two.

Last night during p&w, I looked around at different people and really was overwhelmed by how God has changed us. How He gradually brings freedom into lives. How He develops faithfulness in us. How He grows and matures us. How He forms unlikely friendships. How He uses us to sharpen each other. How He changes thoughts and ideas we have. How He shapes us individually and how He shapes us as a group.

I am actually having a little bit harder time seeing Saturday nights end than I thought I would. Mostly I'm sad that the band won't be the same. We grew up together, in a way. We've had our rough patches...Man, there were one or two practices that were unbelievably bad. Not just sound-wise...Attitude-wise. But we made it through those rough times. It's those that brought us together more than the good times, I think. We had to figure each other out. We learned to respect each other. We learned to trust each other. We learned to read each other. And as I look at it, I think we're right on the verge of truly worshiping together as a band. Maybe that's part of what makes it so hard for me. Musically, we've been great for a long time. But spiritually, I think we were right on the edge of something as a band. And I really wanted to see what that was.

With the end, though, comes a beginning. I'm not sure what it's the beginning of, exactly, but there is a beginning. Changes are hard, but hard isn't necessarily bad. God has plans. Last night we sang Ready Now. Part of the song says,

So take my heart and make it new,
and make it true,
and make it like You.
Take my hands; I lift them high.
They're Yours not mine to do, do what You will.

Do what you will. Do what you will.

I'm ready now. I'm ready now. I'm ready now.
Do what You will.
I'm ready now. I'm ready now. I'm ready now.

And I realized that Next is not a service. I remembered why we called it Next in the first place. It's because we're next. Who's next? We are. It's not a service. It's people. So Next isn't really ending. We're just spreading around to other service times. We're still us. We're still next.

So what is this end the beginning of? I don't know, but whatever it is, the Lord says we're ready now.