Gag Rule

This week was my semi-annual trip to the dentist. I don't mind going to the dentist. My dentist's office great. It's a father/son practice, every one is super-nice, they're Christians, it's just a really good environment. There are only two problems. The first is that I'm not a regular flosser. Every time I go they tell me the scary story of gum disease after they make my gums bleed. I got wise to their ways, though. Now about a week and a half before my appointments, I start flossing. How bad is that?!? Works, though. No scary gum disease story this time.

The second problem is this: I'm a gagger. Have you ever had molds made of your mouth? If I'm ever captured by the Chinese, all they'll have to do is shove those big molds extra-full of goop into my mouth a few times, and I'll tell them anything they want to know. Oh, they tell you to lean forward, it helps. Wiggle your toes, it helps. Let us spray this stuff in the back of your throat, it helps. I'm here to tell you, it doesn't help. My sister has no problem with having molds made. I absolutely don't understand.

Back to the story. Once a year the denists takes x-rays of my back teeth. In order to accomplish this, they have to put those little tabs in the very back of my mouth for me to bite down on. This is no good-o. It takes several tries before they actually get the shot before I spit the thing out of my mouth. I ususally have tears and snot. Fun, really. They've tried different things with me. The oddest is a salt trick one of the girls there knows. Right before she sticks the tabs in my mouth, I put salt on my tongue. It did actually work the first time they tried it. Maybe it was the shock value, who knows. Well, this time, the hygienist put the big x-ray apron on me, positioned the x-ray machine by my face, and put the tab in. Before she was out of the room to push the button...gag...out came the tab. She went to get some of that spray. Right then my friend who works there walked by. We'd had the gag conversation all the way home from Tulsa a couple months ago, so she knew about me. They ended up double-teaming me. Hygienist sprayed my throat...twice...Danni stood by the button, hygienist stuck the tab in my mouth, she ran out of the room while Danni pushed the button, I spit the tab out. It worked on the first try both times. Still had a little tear in the corner of my right eye, but other than that not too bad. Thanks, Danni!

While I was laying there getting my teeth cleaned, I had a sudden though. "I wonder if she's ever dropped the mirror down someone's throat?!?" Have you ever thought about that?? I asked her, and she said she never has. Whew.